[gramjams]

Hi Michelle,

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband 16 months ago. I am sure he was near almost immediately. Sometimes our grief is so overwhelming that we don't recognize the little signs. A song on the radio, a ring of the phone with no one there. Perhaps your lights will flicker. You can always count on him being near you though.

If you go to the picture part of this website, there is a picture of me with a halo around me. I believe it was an angel or my husband letting me know he was there and okay.

Take care Sweetie. My heart goes out to you.[/img]

[ddomepaint]

Oh Sweetie, I am truely sorry for your loss. But please remember that if he has made it to the other side then how can he be anything but happy. We all have our time when we must return to God. Maybe you should tell your children that God needed him to come home now.
One thing you might want to remember is to pay attention to what is happening around you. He might send birds, coins, a smell, ring the telephone ect. Children are able to see what we can't sometimes, so one day they just might see him. Depending on how old they are and if they still are open minded. Society has a way of closing off the mind to these abilities as we grow up.
But if he does't come around right away, don't give up because not everyone who dies has a easy time switching lives over to the other side. Sometimes they need to be kind of eased into it, so in that case it may take alittle longer for him to get in touch with you.
Most of all know that he is absolutly fine and I'm sure he will contact you soon.
Best of luck to you and your children. God be with you.

[Kerridwen]

A couple of weeks after I lost my Dad, I had a reading done and my Dad came thru right away. Dad was worried about his watch & the reader said he couldn't understand why because he had so many. Then the penny dropped for me - Dad had taken his watch to the jeweller for repair & hadn't got around to collecting it. The watch had been a gift from my Mum and was special to him for that reason.
The medium also told me that Dad would be closest to me when I was on the water. My parents had owned a boat and whenever we use it I can often feel his presence & hear him talking to me in my head.
Sue

[Helena Yates]

I have channeled trusted friends and family for twenty years with three friends under the psuedonym Sunsisters, and this is what they have recommended to us when faced with the pain of a loved one's transition (I am sorry for your loss). In our experience, loved ones often want to speak right after transition, but after that first "good bye", we have been encouraged to wait one year before speaking to them again -- to give the person left behind a chance to heal and to help ease the shock from the changes transition brings to us all. Of course there are no rules, merely suggestions. Be encouraged that the bonds of love are eternal, and that your loved one is always with you. Be open to your dreams and signs of encouragement during your time of healing. Be well.

[shimaxia]

I think it all takes time to come to terms with grief. My own story is not much different from a good many others. A relation of mine is heavily into spiritualism and has been attending meetings and developing for some time. Even though she does that she cannot understand why she feels I should have a person around me who passed over but I feel nothing. I too have come to the conclusion that for me to fully understand myself I need to attend a spiritualist church myself, something I have wanted to do for some time. I still feel that I am right when I say I feel that the reason I do not feel as others think I should is because I had issues with this person who has passed on from this earth plane when they were here that were never resolved but saying that it does not distress me overly much as for years we had called a truce and muddled along. A good friend once told me that the bad memories I had of another loved ones last days would ease with the passage of time and the good times we had would become more fixed over the distress of the last memories. She was so right I can smile now when I think of them and feel a warmth in my heart not just the sadness, pain and regret of loss. Time will see you through love and blessings.

[Sibyl]

Hi Shim

Spiritualists and mediums do not feel people around them so do not be concerned about that. Spirit live in their own world and it is only when mediums sit and make a link with their world that we become aware of them. There are times, of course, when we become aware of their love when not deliberately tuning it but it is their thoughts we are receiving, they are not in our homes.

I am pleased to read that you are going to visit a Spiritualist Church for yourself and I am sure you will enjoy the experience and learn a lot from it. You can also learn about mediumship and Spiritualism by joining this website and coming to the classes we hold. When Spiritualism is new to you it is surprising how much there is to learn and, not only that, how fascinating it is to learn

luv
vi

[kowski]

Hi everyone

I am new to this forum. My husband recently passed away unexpectedly and I am interested in what his experiences are now including his concept of time.

kowski( Jenny)

[lemonelemi]

Originally Posted by boogiewheels

hi all

my boyfriend died in a tragic accident on mon 6 nov, i buried him yesterday. i want to know how long it is before i can contact him and the best means to do so. there are so many psychics and youjust dont know which ones are for real. michelle47 would love to hear which psychic you went to. at a time like this all you want to hear is things that no one else could possibly know apart from the 2 of you. the night he died i just lay in bed awake all night just longing to see him, or smell him or just a touch from him but nothing. i have so many questions

love helen

I know I'm coming onto this thread very late, but this post moved me so much. I lost my mum five years ago, and felt just the same as you. So much grief and sorrow and needing to feel her near me. I do believe that it takes a lot of energy for spirit to communicate with us, and we must have calm minds for them to come through. My grief stopped this happening. I went along to spiritualist church one day, and after all the readings (none came through for me) and as I was just about to leave the church, the medium grabbed my arm and and told me.... "I've just been told, She'll come through when she's ready!"

And she did. Many months later when both of us were ready. She came to me via mediums and dreams. Now I'm happy for her and for me, because being sad is not the way and those we love are never far away.

[Warwick]

All who have contributed to this thread with recent bereavements, sorry for your distress at this time, and my thoughts are with you. Although I know that death is not 'the end', or anything final, there is still grief to be contended with at this time, even when I am still in contact with the deceased. The grief is almost all on this side of 'the veil' however, as a rule, the one who has passed on is usually soon engrossed in 'new things' and seldom wishes to 'come back to life', other than to reassure and comfort those they have left for the while.

I don't think there is any 'set time' or settling down period before contact can be made? Time is of little consequence in the next world it seems, those who have been dead for centuries have little or no idea of 'passing time', it seems to be 'condensed' somehow, it doesn't work in the same, steadily plodding 'one second per second' rate as it does for us. This is very hard to explain, and even harder to understand, which is why I am doing such a poor job of describing it (that's my excuse anyway!)

I have contacted people within two or three days of their death, both close friends who died unexpectedly and suddenly. On wasn't fully awate he was dead, so I had to give him the bad news... which didn't go down very well, but one of my guides helped him (and me) out thankfully. The other knew she had passed over, and was anxious to get me to tell everyone that it wasn't suicide, just carelessness... fortunately, the coroner relieved me of that difficult 'duty' - which I had (and still have) absolutely no idea of how to go about it.

The actual moment of transition is usually (in my limited experience) a bit mysterious - forgotten or impossible to describe by the dead. Annoying, as I am rather intrigued by 'what happens next'? From all I have been told or gleaned so far (from those who have experienced death), it is usually like waking up from a very deep sleep, anaesthetic, or even a coma, and it can be a very slow return to 'posthumous conciousness'. 'Months' or 'weeks' have been mentioned, but have no real meaning - almost everyone seems to avoid the subject, they appear to have no clear memory of the event, or cannot adequately describe it to me.

In consequence, I think I have been 'shown' the moment of death on very rare occasions (I have been told it was a rare 'privelige'), once from the POV of the deceased, and once from 'outside' as well. The first was the last moments of an unfortunate young girl, who drowned in the sea (very peaceful I'm glad to say), the second was a violent death by stabbing in the throat, though pain was hardly of consequence in the 'excitement' - it was quick. I'm afraid both end with a 'blank screen', before the next world and those in it appear. I get the impression that it can be traumatic, many obviously panic and are in terrible pain and anxiety at the point of death, and there is a period of merciful 'blackness' somehow to allow things to recover... perhaps like leaving an engine to cool down after overheating, before adding water to the radiator? A poor analogy, but...?

To those suffering from grief at this time, I can assure you that all will be well with your departed somehow. That sounds an extravagent claim, but unless they are extremely troubled by things left undone at the end of their lives, like unmade apologies, hidden crimes or very guilty secrets, they should have no trouble adjusting to their 'next life', where you may well meet them again - when your time comes, or (if you really can't wait) via a medium. I nearly wrote "my sympathies at your loss" on the first line, but there is no 'loss' - just a transition. If they were in pain or distressed, it may well be a great and immediate gain, as well as a profound relief?

Hard to see that way at this time however, I appreciate that. No amount of jocularity and glib reassurance can take away the agonising pain of grief at first, but one thing is for sure - time is a great healer, and as the hours melt into days, then weeks and months, the horror of it slowly seeps in (sometimes in nasty fits and starts) and the pain gradually fades into a dull ache... which will be bearable, I promise you. And death is no more than a temporarily uncomfortable transition, just the same. Something to celebrate rather than fear...?