[mike1965]

Hi

I lost my wife to cancer August this year.

We had been as one for 18 years, she was the most amazing woman ever and touched the hearts of many with her singing and care for others.

He passing was a shock for all! two weeks of rapid decline after having been told things were going very well!

She passed in my arms, looking into my eyes very peacefully guided by myself and her sister on a meditation.

I am only 44, she was just 50 and she was my whole universe.

She has been through via a number of mediums, all say the same things!

Her love for me carries on, even stronger, she will be in direct contact with me and is 'blowing open my mind' so that I will have full abilities.

She was doing very well as a medium herself, attending the Eastbourne conventions etc.

I on the other hand, was always her anchor, she liked that.

Now the anchor has to learn to fly!!!!!!!!

While I do sense things I am so dense, how do I help her and develop myself a bit more?

Each night I sit and try to meditate, talk to her and relax.
Most night this ends with me on my knees in floods of tears (yeah I know not helping)

In the 19 years we knew each other, the very least we had was an hour long phone call to each other!
Now I feel so very isolated from her.

I know she is there, sees and hears me and apparently never leaves my side. That is comforting but I am slowly falling to bits.

Where should I start?


Thanks

Mike

[gazzAB]

Hi Mike,

Sorry to hear about your loss.

If you wish to develop then a visit to a spitual church woudl certainly help. Thye have development circles where you can learn to link to spirit.

This site is also a place where yopu can develop your ablities. Paying members can attend classes and ciscles to aid development of psyhcic and mediumsitic abilities.

Before all this though imo you need to grieve for your wife and come to terms with that before you can move forward.

[mike1965]

Hello GazzAB

Thanks, I wondered about the CD shown on the home page here?

Everyone says that with time it will get easier, yet I am finding the exact opposite!
I need to sort myself out soon as I am off work and bills are mounting up

Stupid material world still encroaching even now

I am having counselling from the hospice.

I think my wife has come in via 6 mediums, all with near enough the same messages.
She is described as a powerful spirit That's her

Not sure about circles! never know.

Mike

[AMP]

Hi Mike,

So sorry for your loss. I only really have one piece of advice and that is be kind to yourself. You need time to grieve and that may mean putting your development on hold for a little while. If you do not allow yourself this time then you will make yourself physically ill. Your wife will fully understand that you need time for yourself right now. In spirit there is no time so you will not affect your wife by doing this. When we are at our most vulnerable is a not the time to push forward with development. I am not, of course, saying you shouldn't be here. This site has been, and will continue to be, a great comfort to many who have lost there loved ones. Just treat yourself with kindness and love and know your wife wants what is best for you. Hope to see you in chat one day soon.

AMP xxxx

[mike1965]

Hi AMP

Thanks, Our connection was so very Strong that I find myself spiralling down without it, almost easier to do without air than our contact.
I know she sees and hears me, and is with me nearly all the time, but as yet I only just sense her around.
Contact would life me and let me recover, it seems a most cruel catch 22 that it is prevented from happening.

Regards

Mike

[paula burgess]

Hello Mike
WELCOME
Sorry for the loss of your wife. Her love for you do still carry on

[mike1965]

Originally Posted by paula burgess

Hello Mike
WELCOME
Sorry for the loss of your wife. Her love for you do still carry on

Thanks Paula

Yes that is one thing I do know!

Mine will carry on for her and I guess this is the biggest test of my honour now.

[annie1]

((((((((mike))))))))) welcome to the site.

Mike, I am so very sorry for the earthly loss of your wife. It sounds like you are in such emotional pain, and understandably so, contact love is hard to separate from. I am also glad to hear you are receiving some counseling from Hospice. Have you thought about looking elsewhere for a more longer term counseling that can help build your life up to stability and make it more about "you" now instead of the death and loss of your wife? Sounds like you could use some building you up right about now.

I also feel sometimes we can be so emotionally involved in something that the littlest of things are missed. It would be so lovely for you to embrace life around you once again so that when and if your beloved wife leaves you a little hint that she is near you... you don't miss it. That would be such a wonderful thing for you.

Coming to this site, and talking to people like ourselves working on your personal life and your own personal development is such a wonderful start. I do want to mention tho mike, check your priorities list.. go through them and see how many times you see yourself on that list of priorities.. if you don't see your name on it much, you may want to change that list around a bit to fit "you" in there more often

There is an old saying i adore.... " seeing outside only comes after you can see within" ( i can't remember who said that, sorry) lol but it's a saying I have always loved.

annie xxxxxxxxx

[NICE]

Hi ya Mike


Keep Strong

x daz x

[Daveuk1241]

Hi Mike,
Im so sorry to hear of your loss and just want to relate to my fathers situation when his wife/my mother passed to spirit.
He was very much as you describe yourself,basically falling apart,having good intention in doing the best he could but finding a lack of heart in seeing things through.His loss led him into spiritualism and the search for truth and to find if a reality of life after death was at all possible..To have contact with my mother via other mediums just wasnt enough, he had to have that contact for himself.This led him on over time to become a trance medium,but,contact with my mother was still something that he never had..In later years we sat and discussed why no contact had happened with my mother and he related a story that i wasnt aware of prior to that time about a visit to her graveside where he had an undeniable urge to just close his eyes and be led..On doing this he was taken on what he described as quite a lenghty walk to a part of the cemetary that he never needed to pass through and eventually came to a stop.On opening his eyes he was facing a gravestone where it depicted a pair of hands holding each other in their grasp and the words underneath " We Will Meet Again"..All through this experience he could sense my mothers presence but didnt see her and so that one experience was the sum total of his contact with her.On further inquiry from myself i asked why he thought that she hadnt had more contact with him, (and its these words that i want to give to you Mike) my father said " i couldnt have been the man ive become without the love that i held for your mother or the love that she held for me, and the sacrifice she made to allow me to become who i am".
I hope your journey brings you that which you seek Mike, but i also hope that in time you in turn can touch the hearts of many people who just like you now seek the comfort of the love that you feel is lost..
My heart goes out to you Mike as now is your time in grieving,but,though the clouds mar the immediate horizon the sun will shine again ..

Take Care & Godbless

Dave....