[True2form]

I feel that any man I fall for, who is intellectually challenging/interesting enough for me to even consider someone I wouldn't mind being with long term seems to fall into financial/emotional catastrophe just after I've turned up in their life and we've bonded enough for us to be very interested in each other.

This has only happened twice in the financial context, but a few too many times in the emotional. Whether it's ex girlfriends suddenly finding a renewed interest after my arrival to the extreme of one man's father dying over the Christmas period, leaving him shunning any emotional attachments.

My last boyfriend suffered terribly financially and it hovered over our relationship, eventually bringing out stress in him that ruined our bond. I have recently met a man who awakens every fibre of my being with his wit and charm; while I was away for a month, financial disaster struck, followed by an evicition notice. He is still in contact but I'm beginning to shy away as the emotional strain this puts on him just echoes the same I've always encountered.

This is not new to me, my father was always in and out of money while I was growing up. Now I don't live with him anymore as he and mother divorced, he is finally financially stable, if not above average and very very comfortable. I'm financially fine, I'm still a student, but I feel like a black hole for anyone I care about and it's heartbreaking. Can this be healed?

[mustang2008s]

let me ask you this do you think that you keep finding that you are in this position and that you need to learn something from it but if you keep avoiding it you are not actually learning it. i am not saying this is right but just a thought. Do you feel maybe that this is something that you need to see through the situation and poss complete a bad cycle that you seem to have in your life. try to contemplate and give it some thought.

[annie1]

There is an old saying. What you think you are, so therefore you are.

There are a lot of books out today that talk about your thought process and energies and what you draw close to you. Sometimes, people worry so much about what they "don't want" that they will draw exactly what they don't want in to them because it's such a strong energy. If you look at some of the best seller books that have been published here in the last 5 years about thought process and attractions, you will notice some interesting view points on this subject.

annie xxx

[True2form]

Thank you both for your responses. I understand what you mean and I am aware of energies happening to attract what you're giving off. I read a book about calming down my energies when I'm dating people and not playing games just being genuine and it's worked wonders. When I met this guy I honestly didn't have any thought about this situation cross my mind, it only re-occurred to me when it all happened to him. Which then worries me if it's a subconscious worry I have and I don't know I'm expecting bad things how am I supposed to deal with it?

I suppose the annoying part is knowing I have to just let him go (emotionally) while he sorts this out, but it's hard as he's done nothing wrong. We get on fantastically as friends but we can't help toeing the line. Very frustrating.